#10 - A radical commitment to intuition
...and why we must eventually stop looking to others to find our way
There’s this old folk tale from the mountains of mid-Wales which tells the story of the birth of the River Severn. In it, our river goddess is born in the bogs of the Cambrians, lost and stuck, completely without guides or maps as to which way to go. The land is barren. There are no waterways to follow. And so one wet, dank day, she gathers with her sisters on the highest peak, and they make a decision. They each decide to flow in the direction that feels right for them. In essence — they choose for themselves.
Severn’s instinct is, frankly, WILD. While her two sisters meander towards the seas to the south, she does something which on the face of it seems utterly nonsensical. She starts to travel north, and then east. There is no sea that way. Anyone with any expertise would tell her she is going the wrong way. But she does it anyway, and because she takes this longer, more winding route, she eventually becomes the longest and most tidal waterway in the whole of our islands. Because she follows her intuition, she becomes a colossus. She becomes a legend.
The art of following our intuition in a world set on telling us what to do is a deep act of rebellion. Even in the self-development community that many of us are familiar, there is an obsession with looking to others for guidance; with maps and guidebooks, with killer methodologies that promise to change our lives. Andrew Huberman, with the biggest podcast in the world, wraps up self-care life hacks as ‘protocols’ to help his predominantly male audience feel ok about following his suggestions for yoga nidra exercises and breathwork. Most of the podcast world is stacked with a new wave of Wellness Gurus, each with their own brand of expert advice that promises to help you upgrade your life, your health, your relationships, your productivity. In a capitalist, extractive paradigm that too often seems ill-fitting, we’re hungry for new maps, new ways to live, which might just serve us better.
And yet, more recently, I’ve come to feel like there is something deeply infantilising about this whole self-help sector. That unless its a phase we move through, we risk getting lost there, stuck in a habit of looking to someone other than ourselves — to our therapists and our coaches and our insta-wellness influencers — to guide us out the shadows. When we could more regularly be turning our gaze inward, listening to the signals from our own sensitive bodies, and choosing for ourselves. Like Severn did.
I’ve felt often this year that I’ve been in a kind of intuition bootcamp. The more I commit to following my intuition, the louder it gets. I’ve learned some powerful lessons about intuition, which include the fact that it is very often ahead of reason, and that one of its hallmarks is that it doesn’t often make sense. If it did, it would be logical. And intuition by definition isn’t based on logic. It’s based on a way of knowing that is so much deeper.
In her incredible book, Sensuous Knowledge, Minna Salami talks about these powerful, under-utilised ways of knowing. About how our bodies are designed to be powerful instruments of intelligence, and yet we rarely pay attention to any signal below our brain stems. The way we can know something is ‘off’, sometimes for years, and still we ignore it. And yet, so often we sense, deeply, what is right. And still we look around for permission. Still we seek the validation of our tribe, to feel safe that the way we choose will be a way that still secures their approval and acceptance.
And here-in lies the rub. Because, sometimes, often, our intuition doesn’t care about approval. Sometimes, intuition leads us outside of the paradigm that too often sets the criteria for our belonging and worth. In fact sometimes, that’s the whole point of intuition. To call us onto a path that might seem radical in the short term, but in the longer term becomes a case study in pioneership, a role model for what it means to live true.
I think if Severn’s story is telling us anything, it’s telling us to serve that truth. Serve the inner melodies that create the symphonies of our souls. To play by our own tune, not just follow the well-worn rhythms of the dominant mode. At its best, any therapy or coaching should bring us back to that place, where we can choose for ourselves. But even better if we can learn that skill without guides. Even better if, when we find ourselves in a bogland, lost and stuck, we can go inward, and chart a course that feels true for us — even if it makes sense to nowhere but our own bellies.
And that’s the power of intuition. It’s radical self-acceptance. It’s radical sovereignty. It’s taking action because it feels right to you, not because someone told you it was ok. And that, there, that’s the whole damn game.
Upcoming events
✨ On Sunday 3rd March I’m delivering the International Women’s Day keynote at Sunday Assembly at Conway Hall at 11am, on the theme of women and mythology, and how our island legends are offering us a new story of womanhood. It’s free, no need to book, come ready for some singing too…
✨ On Saturday 9th March I’m so excited to be joining the incredible Lera at T-Lovers for a mystical night of tea ceremony and story in the frankly stunning Globe House Yoga in London Bridge. Tickets limited, and available here
Hope to see you soon,
Kim x
Storyteller * Strategist * Facilitator